Nation's leaders as pompous, self-serving as ever; who's to blame? - By Matty Jacobson

Over the holiday break I’ve been taking notes and racking my brain on how to effectively review our nation’s leaders in the most negative way possible.

After all, two large things happened while Americans were busy gathering with family and cooking various species of birds. First of all, the famed Obamacare was passed. I personally am on the fence about Obamacare. I can see both its advantages and disadvantages. But the other, more horrible, legislation that passed was the National Defense Authorization Act. This gives the President the power to hold anyone for an indefinite amount of time without trial or due process. Yes, it's supposedly focused on suspected terrorists, but what is the definition of a suspected terrorist?

I thought: “How could they? How could our supposed representatives sit behind locked doors and make decisions for the people without even hearing us out?”

But, as I literally sat down to write the first “Skewed Review” of the 2012 spring semester, I realized I shouldn’t be reviewing our nation’s leaders at all. Sure, they’re all sleazy, self-serving, ugly and (I just automatically assume) pretty stinky.

Most of our politicians identify themselves as jackasses—the only political party representative that also doubles as a series of MTV movies about guys deliberately shooting objects into their genitals, or as elephants—the biggest mammal that walks on land and therefore consumes the most resources and leaves the biggest piles of sh—sorry, I sometimes forget I’m writing for an audience other than myself. But you get the picture.

I should be reviewing you. And myself. And every other person in the United States. It’s our fault. We put these people into office, and then we let them run amok. After all, it's not that our politicians don't necessarily refuse to hear us out; it's more that we as citizens refuse to be heard.

Do you know who represents you in Congress? How about in the Senate? Do you know who could possibly be the next president of the United States? Do you know how to contact your representatives? Are you even registered to vote?

Here’s a review for all of us: We get exactly 11 months to get our acts together, get registered to vote, and take matters into our own hands. Don’t you think it’s time to stop letting other people make decisions that will most definitely affect your life?

I’m going to throw in a review for our Presi-don’t, our Congress-phlems, our Reprehen-sitives and our Sena-turds. I think we need to waterboard each one of them. Not for answers, but just for fun. There needs to be some repercussions for a representative who, despite having heard a majority of his or her constituants vote in a specific direction, will vote the opposite way because that elected official thinks he or she knows what's best for the collective community.

Just keep your eyes out. The next time you or I complain about the president, either one of us could possibly be indefinitely detained because we just might be plotting a terrorist attack.