Saturday, January 7, 2012

Bieber Admits The Truth: He's a She. - By Schürman Von Hitlerhäusen

"Apparently the Disney channel called me a girl," Justin Bieber said in an interview with Schürman Von Hitlerhäusen. "I guess the secret's finally out."

Bieber admitted that her high voice and voluminous hair are not just because of her indentured servitude to singer and attempted actor Usher, but also because of her intense estrogen levels caused by her ovaries.

"I can only pull it off for so long," she admitted. "But in a way, it's kind of a relief. My breasts are starting to grow and it's getting pretty painful to duct tape them down every day."

When asked about the recent paternity scandal, Bieber replied: "I knew I'd win, well, obviously. The problem was providing male DNA."

She said it wasn't a matter of getting the DNA itself, but rather to figure out whose DNA to use, as Bieber is constantly covered in the stuff.

She is currently shopping for a first new name, but isn't ruling out "Smellika."

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