Sticks and Stones - By Stephanie Johnson-Hart

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Words Will Never Hurt Me.

 But, apparently not if you’re Matty Jacobson. I mean, really Matty?  What year were you born?  This was cute when we were 6 years old.  And perhaps it applied to everyone circa 1970, but this is 2011 nearing 2012.  I’m certain that you are on a mission--a mission to spread love to everyone in the state of Utah, or perhaps the nation, and I get that.  

But be realistic, please. In the '70s we were all about peace, love and happiness.  Did that really work? No. A bunch of hippies rode around in vans and didn’t shower and hoped to change the world with their colorful t-shirts and nonconforming hygiene habits.  It didn’t work. But you, my friend, good luck on your mission to change the world. 

Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that I hate gay people. This isn’t the case, but let’s just pretend, shall we?  If I wanted to really, really, to hurt you, would I call you a faggot? No. If I wanted to inflict permanent damage, I’d commit a hate crime against you. I’d call my buddies. I’d follow you from the bar. I’d physically harm you.  If I was trying REALLY hard, I’d permanently alter your life as you know it. 

If I got caught, I’d most likely be convicted and get some R&R down at the county jail. I’m not that stupid. I’m an educated, “normal” person who knows it’s against the law to physically harm someone else.  So, if I were to want to hurt you, the only legal way I could do it is call you a name.   

Me personally? My best friend is gay. Or, is she lesbian? Or is that the same thing? I don’t know. You people are so damn picky about what you’re called. (I know, that sounded homophobic, didn’t it?)  I mean, what’s the proper term? Homosexual? Gay? Faggot? Someone who struggles with same-sex attraction? Who knows?  Truth is—it’s not the general public that is offended by these terms. It’s a select few, who like you, are offended by it. But to prove you’re not offended by it, you write a column about it.  Okay, I get it.  Smart move.

I’m not certain why you’re using “N-word” instead of what it stands for. Is that something that can’t be published? Or, out of respect for that “unnamed race,” are you not saying it? It’s sort of interesting to me that you’ll say faggot but not the “N-word.” And, by not using the “C-word,” is that just out of respect for women?   Or, can I assume that because you are gay that it’s okay to use that slur, but not the others because you are clearly white, and not a woman? I don’t know. Just curious. 

Not to be obnoxious, but you said “I can only assume you have nothing better to worry about if you get offended by some uneducated yokel whose vocabulary is so limited that it’s only full of one-syllable slurs.”  What one-syllable slurs are you talking about?  Let’s see.  The C-word.  I’m assuming I know what you mean, and that’s only got one syllable.  But, N-word? I think that’s 2.  And F-word.  That’s 2.  I’m just wondering if I was missing something is all. 

What’s my point? I’ll tell you. I am not a racist, or a homophobe, or a sexist. But, I have used at least one of your selected slurs in my lifetime.  Am I proud of it? No. Would I take it back? Well, no I wouldn’t have.  At the time it was probably the greatest self-control I had just short of absolutely losing my mind.

I am not an uneducated yokel who only uses slurs to be rude and hurtful. But I am an educated woman in her '30s who has a degree, is a mother, and works full time at a government agency. So if I, instead of the N-word, decided to say that “uneducated, black, drug dealing, young man who uses his skin color to get everywhere he wants in life if he can’t get it by stealing or using a weapon” – is that any better? Slurs are simply shortened descriptions. Whether true or false, they mean the same thing.

With words come meanings attached. Whether these meanings are direct or assumed depends on the situation and the person. And when you say “They’re only words,” I do believe I get the point you’re trying to make. But, if we base nothing on words…  Nothing on the meaning of words, then we, as a people, have just lost the reason for communicating. You wouldn’t have your friend, love, joy and peace without enemies, hatred, sadness, and turmoil. 

Nice article, Matty. Next article how about you talk about something that really affects much of the public—like being called fat, or your social status, or your religion?  We do live in Utah, after all.  Home of the pill-popping, overweight, bread making Mormons.