Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The Gay Culture Conundrum - By Matty Jacobson

Matty Jacobson owns, edits and contributes to
The Skewed Review.
THE SKEWED REVIEW | ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT | ACTIVISM


I've been inundated with this desire recently to immerse myself in drag--culture, that is.

If you're a first-timer to The Skewed Review, I'll let you in on a little secret. I am a wig wearer. I wear wigs wonderfully. Wow. What whimsy when I wear a wig. However, when it comes to female wigs, I'm not a huge collector.

It seems pretty pointless, I know, but most of my wigs are men's styles. But just waking up one morning and deciding that I'm going to have shaggy black hair that day is better than drugs. Well, almost better than drugs.

However, I'm not against owning and wearing a nice queeny quaff. I thoroughly enjoy my Elvira, Glinda, Charlie's Angels and Snooki wigs, too. I just don't happen to put them on as often. So, suffice to say, I'm a drag enthusiast, albeit not a professional one.

What with this desert weather and global warming and all, I've found myself spending more time indoors. When I'm not on the treadmill, I'm parked in front of the TV watching "Priscilla: Queen of the Desert," or "To Wong Foo: Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar," or "Hairspray" (the Divine version, not the Travolta version), or "Pink Flamingos" or "Polyester" or "Trick" or "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" or "Paris is Burning." But I can only watch the same old drag movies over and over again. So I've turned to Netflix, and I've been enjoying past seasons of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

For those of you who don't know, "RuPaul's Drag Race" is a reality show that seeks out the best of the best in American drag queens. It's so much fun to watch, and I'm so jealous of the clothes they all get to wear. Here I am, stuck in southern Utah, where the only real drag I could possibly pull off would be a sister wife.

But "Drag Race's" season three got me thinking about something serious.

The winner of said season is one Raja, a makeup artist and high-fashionista from Los Angeles. From episode one I was torn on the soon-to-be-crowned Raja. I was in love with her fashions, but I hated her attitude. She was literally the mean girl. It's hard to root for the mean girl.

Sassy? Yes. I love a good sassy girl. But there's a line between sassiness and just plain bitchiness. And it seemed like Raja fit the latter description.

On the last episode, however, Raja talked about wanting to spread a message that it's OK for little boys to want to be who they are. That's a good message. Only, it was hard for me to wrap my head around the truth of it. Raja said she wanted little boys to not be afraid, but dammit, she was so scary that even I was afraid, and I was only watching reruns on Netflix!

Here's the conundrum of the gay culture. Little boys and girls all across this country of ours are constantly being told that "It's OK to be gay." "Come out of the closets and into the streets!" they scream. "We're here, we're queer, get used to it."

The gay community portrays this huge family that's accepting to all. Only, it's not. If I were a contestant on "Ru Paul's Drag Race," and I just happened to be there with Raja, something tells me I wouldn't have gotten a "be who you are girl!" I would have been shaking in my boots out of fear of rejection. That happens to many gay boys who don't fit the profile of what the gay culture wants them to be.

If your'e not fit enough, bitchy enough, "out" enough, loud enough, sexy enough (and the list goes on), then chances are your coming out won't bring you into a family of like-minded individuals. Chances are you'll find yourself having to conform even more-so to find that perfect gay niche in which you belong. And even then, you'd better adhere to that clique's standards steadfastly lest you be beaten down with vitriol.

Let me go back to Miss Raja for a moment. I often have to stop myself when it comes to reality TV. As I've pointed out before, I think reality TV is the downfall of our nation. I sometimes forget that producers and editors will splice and cut to depict certain people in certain ways. Who knows how much support and how many compliments were edited out of Raja's footage? I mean, after all, compliments and support do not make for good reality TV. You must have drama. You must have controversy. In this respect, producers of reality TV are distorting the truth and making it seem like people are horrible, when in fact, they're just behaving humanly.

In the reunion episode, Raja said she saw the show and didn't even realize how mean what she was saying actually was. She apologized for her words and her actions.

That, in and of itself, proves to me that there's hope for our gay culture. Yes, "throwing shade" is common in the drag culture, and unfortunately, it scares away some people who might be interested in becoming a part of that culture. It's almost as if you're required to become nasty in order to become a drag superstar.

I commend Raja for taking that step to adhere to her own message of wanting little boys everywhere to not be afraid to do what they want. Now I want the rest of us to help that vision out. Instead of judging the little gay boy down the street when he puts on a pair of second-hand heels and dons a wig from the Halloween store, let's commend him for daring to be fabulous.

Let's end this silly conundrum. Let's practice what we preach.


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