The Salt Lake Tribune Changes Its Definition Of 'Opinion' - By Taylor Grin

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Subtitled: You can tell I only read one newspaper, or Dear God why am I attacking a major publication?

A recent blogpost by Peggy Stack, forwarded by the Salt Lake Tribune, informs readers of a recent change to the tithing slip all good-standing Mormons fill out on a monthly basis. Basically, the article describes how the 10% of income Mormons donate will no longer differentiate between educating the 3rd world, Book of Mormon publishing and Temple building. I remember a game growing up: “One of these things is not like the other.” Can you spot it?

As much as I’d like to get riled up about the all-too-likely possibility that the LDS church is using this format to evangelize more and teach less, what I’m really upset about is how the SLTrib can repost this and later claim it’s opinion, not news. But I’m ahead of myself. First let me show you the article in full. It’s short.

The LDS Church has redesigned the slips members use to pay tithing and other donations, eliminating several of the line items.

Until recently, church members could check a box in front of the Perpetual Education Fund (which helps Mormon students in less-developed nations), the Book of Mormon (to pay for publication of the Utah-based faith’s signature scripture), or temple construction in addition to tithing, fast offerings (for the poor), general and ward missionary funds and humanitarian aid.

The current form now has spaces only for tithing, fast offering, humanitarian aid and general and ward missionary fund. The education, temple and scripture funds have been removed.

A line remains for “other,” which members can use to specify these various funds where they want their money to be spent, but there is no guarantee that the church will honor any particular request.

“Though reasonable efforts will be made globally to use donations as designated,” it now reads on the bottom of the form, “all donations become the church’s property and will be used at the church’s sole discretion to further the church’s overall mission.”

The reason for the change?

“We feel a sacred obligation to make sure that tithing and other donations made to the church are used prudently and wisely,” church spokesman Scott Trotter said. “The new language on the donation slips simply gives some flexibility to meet the changing needs of a growing, global faith as circumstances require.”

The new slips eventually will reach every Mormon congregation.

Peggy Fletcher Stack

So, this is a highly informative article about the inner-workings of the Mormon church, written so a lay-person can understand. They are changing out a form. Cool story, but it seems like Deseret News or Ensign material, not something for the SLTrib. Why is it there? Well the Trib’s social media intern says:

“The Peggy” my greatest aspiration snatched from me: To be referred to with an definite article before my name.

Wait, what? Having written my fair share of opinion in the last two years, I scoured it out like a rat hunting for cheese. Sadly, after about 5 minutes of fruitlessly (cheeselessly?) searching for the opinion I slunk into a stupor of post-mormon coffee, beer, sex and worst of all tea. Ok, that’s a lie, I made a breakfast burrito and poked around Reddit for 15 minutes before getting back on track to write this.

Really though, where is the opinion here Trib? I don’t see it. There are two quotes in this article: the first is from the ageless, faceless, genderly-ambiguous, nameless, culturally-ambiguous bureaucrat (AFGANCAB just doesn’t have the same ring does it?) and the second is from 
a church spokesperson
 another AFGANCAB.

No opinion. Not a drop. This is the most hairless news-piece I’ve ever seen, sterile as General Conference. I went in looking for Jon Stewart and got Ben Stein.

So SLTrib, you wanted to get a reaction from Mormons about the change? Well, technically I haven’t been excommunicated (huge wonder there actually) or removed my name from the records yet, so technically I qualify!

A) This is stupid bureaucratic news, and I’m a bit ashamed I spent this much time on it. B) Doesn’t it seem weird when a religion lumps “making mini-Vaticans,” “publishing holy books,” and “educating the poor” into the same category?

“We feel a sacred obligation to make sure that tithing and other donations made to the church are used prudently and wisely,” church spokesman Scott Trotter said. “The new language on the donation slips simply gives some flexibility to meet the changing needs of a growing, global faith as circumstances require.”

That’s reassuring. About as reassuring as when Obama said war crimes wouldn’t be committed by drone strikes because any man killed by a drone would be relabeled an enemy combatant.

As a Mormon (snirk) I feel my tithing money (I’ll donate a dollar this weekend so I can say this, into the education fund if it’s still on the form) should go to where I want it to go. Obviously the Mormon church has different views on how money should be spent than I do, If I need to donate for the lord’s work, I’d like to make sure it’s something more like “teaching poor people true things” than “teaching them Jews floated across the ocean in caskets with glowing rocks and animals and plants for which there is no archeological evidence.”

Besides, I wouldn’t want my funds to go toward another Great and Spacious Building… I mean, shopping mall.

That’s Opinion.