These Movie Rules Don't Apply To You. Oh Wait, Yes They Do! - By Heather Harrison

Heather Harrison is one of the top
contributors to The Skewed Review.
Editor's Note: All images in this
article are courtesy of
Wikimedia Commons.

THE SKEWED REVIEW | ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

With all of the blockbuster hits released this summer, I’ve been to a lot of movies recently.

I know we’ve all been to the movies at one time or another, but now that every teenager has a smartphone and an attention span comparable to a rat, a trip to the movies almost isn’t worth it anymore. Sure every movie theater has its set of rules; no cellphones, no feet on the chairs, respect other moviegoers, etc. Honestly it boils down to pieces of movie theater etiquette that is both spoken and unspoken when you walk into a theater. 

First piece of movie theater etiquette applies before you even walk into the theater, and it’s the age old “no cutting.”

Seriously people, I don’t care if your aunt’s son’s best friend’s sister is in line and it seems like a perfectly valid reason to casually hop in line in front of me. Newsflash: it isn’t! What it is, though, is probably the fastest way to burn your image into my memory so I keep tabs for any opportunity to disrespect you in return.

Second on the list is mainly involved when you go to big opening weekend premiers where lines are always the worst. By all means, if you want to beat the crowd and wait in line for hours and hours to see a movie, then be my guest. But at least don’t be a jerk about it.

What I mean by don’t be a jerk is simply this: If there are benches in the area where the line is, do not sit on one end and have your buddy on the other end just so everything looks hetero. All that really does is make you both look disrespectful to the rest of the people in line who could also be sitting.

Now if you absolutely refuse to sit right next to your friend, then do not glare at me when I sit in between you or offer up the seat between you to an elderly person in line. We all know your friends are going to jump the line anyway when they finally start letting people into the movie, so it really shouldn’t bug you all that much.

You would think this next one would be pretty easy since it’s on signs, on previews, and just plain common knowledge, but alas it apparently it needs to be mentioned.

I don’t care how well you think you are hiding it—or how important you think that message from your ex-boyfriend is—your phone can wait until the movie ends. Not only is the light a distraction to me as the person sitting next to you, but also your conversation detailing the entire back story related to this particular text message you just received is obnoxious to everyone within a five-seat radius of you.

Editor’s Note: My posse and I love to sit in the back row. See this bright little LED screen? Trust me. We can see all your phones in every seat. They’re like little annoying eye test blinking lights that keep drawing away our attention from the screen. Our posse may not carry guns, but you’d better believe we’ll write about you. We’ll right about you so hard. Please, heed Heather’s warning.

We don’t care about the text from some boy you broke up with two weeks ago. You miss oh so much you just want him to take you back, but he’s already moved on because that’s what teenage boys do. Save it for your car ride home.

Editor’s Note: We at The Skewed Review do not condone texting while driving! Make sure you are in the passenger seat if you plan on rehashing your drama with your ex.

Last on my list, and probably the most annoying, is the inability of some people to figure out where your feet go in a movie theater.

Let me clarify this for all of you who don’t understand: Feet go on the floor. Feet do not go on the top of my chair, my arm rest, or the back of my chair. First of all it is unsanitary, secondly it ruins the chairs, and most important of all it is more obnoxious than anything else you could possibly do in a movie theater (okay probably not, but I’m trying to keep it G-rated).

It’s bad enough to have your feet in my face throughout the movie, but it’s even worse when you kick the back of my chair repeatedly. I know movie theater chairs are uncomfortable, but I promise you can get comfortable without putting your feet on my chair, which makes me uncomfortable as well.

Basically, to sum this all up for those who really didn’t really want to read all of this, there is etiquette behind going to the movies that should apply to every one of us. I honestly think if people can just learn to be respectful of everyone else around them, the movie theater would be a lot more pleasant of a trip for everyone involved.